Restaurant Doctor - compassion

He Said, Me Said
Keep The Big Picture in Mind

Last week's EHC had barely hit the inboxes of the world when I got into an e-mail conversation with one of my subscribers. I have been reflecting on his comments.

I pass the exchange along to offer a little better understanding of my thought processes, slightly edited for clarity and privacy. You may or may not agree with my position but at least it is very fresh! I would appreciate your comments and insights as well.

HE: Sometimes I think you are still in the Olympic Training camp or at that restaurant you ran in another life. Have you been a speaker for too long? And possibly lost touch with the true day to day operations of restaurants -- the real issues we are going through.

It's easy to be a Monday morning quarterback. Maybe it's time to actually work in the food service business once again and service the guests face to face. "Just a thought." Every once in a while your Insights strike a nerve.

ME: ... and sometimes I think the same thing! What brought this on?

HE: This week's story about compassion. I think the restaurant was correct in charging the people for their food. Since when is it the restaurants financial obligation to pay for meals order and cooked. Were the guests upset that they were asked to pay? What the heck, it's only food.

I know you where talking about compassion, but come on, Bill. Should we be like Jim Carrey in the movie Yes Man? Where does one draw the line? I like to leave compassion up to the church. That's why people make donations.

Wouldn't it be great if our business model was like the Salvation Army Thrift Store? People drive to the back door, drop off product and get a tax deduction. Then they come in the front door, buy the product that has a cost of goods sold of $0.00 and leave thinking they just got a deal. Not to mention reduced rent and government funds for employing qualified felons and addicts.

When you talked about the lack of professional speakers at trade shows a couple of weeks ago, I totally agreed with you. I enjoy reading your weekly free news letter, but the stories are getting stale (bottled tonic & fresh OJ).

Maybe one of the reasons why organizers of trade shows go for the non-professional speaker is that the professionals have gotten stale. They have spent too much time on the speaking circuit and lost touch with the reality of running a restaurant in 2009.

I think the art of hospitality needs to be taught by a seasoned veteran such as yourself and some new material would freshen up the act. "Just a thought".

ME: Thanks for that clearing up. Just because we disagree doesn't mean that someone has to be right and the other has to be wrong, so let's look at the article in question ...

I assume you noticed that most of that article, including the "good" example and the "bad" example (and the comments about same) were sent by John Kidwell, a VP with Mazzio's Pizza ... certainly someone currently in touch with the realities of 2009.

You must also have noted that as a result of the "bad" example, which you so vigorously defend, John and his wife have never returned to the restaurant in question. I also suspect their story has been told and re-told around town. True, the restaurant kept the profit on the meal ... but how much business has it cost them over the long haul?

In the "good" example from Mazzio's, the restaurant did "lose" the cost of the food, but cemented the relationship with the guest. I suspect that story has also been told and re-told as well, but in a positive light. I still contend that it is a better way to get your name out there than a newspaper ad.

My contribution to the lesson was just a nudge to grasp opportunities to go above and beyond. It worked to build a reputation for Nordstrom and it will work for you, too.

Yes, the operator has the right to charge for food that was ordered, even in the face of a personal emergency ... but he also has the right NOT to. That is the compassion that John was talking about. To comp it when you really don't have to is the sort of gesture that can cement lifelong relationships.

I realize that you have an extreme economic meltdown in your market area and perhaps that is coloring your thinking. Do not allow yourself to entertain negative thoughts, no matter what appears to be happening "out there." It is a waste of time (won't change anything) and it creates a vibe that repels diners.

The operators I know who are doing the highest volumes also seem to be the ones who comp liberally and fearlessly, just for the joy it brings. I've had clients whose business improved as soon as they took my advice to comp one deuce a night for no reason at all. (There is a right and wrong way to do it, but I'll have to deal with that another time).

When you give more, you get more. Coincidence? I think not. In my experience, the more you give, the more you get, particularly when everyone else is running scared. It's about doing what is right, not what is cheapest. If that is being out of touch, so be it, but you make your own reality. I prefer a reality based on empathy and caring better than one based on fear and lack (and I think most guests do, too!)

This is a simple business (although not always an easy one). First you must serve the people, then you get to serve the meals. If you fail to serve people first, you will eventually get your volume DOWN to a level where you can handle it. This is the difference between being a place of hospitality and just another place to eat. That's my story and I'm sticking to it!

Bill

BTW: The point of my rant on gin and tonic was about making your beverage operation stand out. Have I said it before? Yes ... on April 14, 2006 ... well before most of my current EHC subscribers joined the list.

If you feel the idea is stale or obvious, can I safely assume that you always use bottled tonic and fresh OJ in your bar? If you don't -- and if you don't also have the hottest bar in town -- how stale is the idea? If it is old news for you, feel free to ignore it. The issue is not about whether you already know something or not, but a) is it a good idea and b) if so, are you actually USING it?

Reader Comments

Just a show of support for this weeks rant. It seems there will always be a disconnect between the reality that hospitality/compassion pays better returns in dollars and cents than bottom line thinking. It is the competitive edge in our industry and it just plain feels good too. Bonus!

Don't knock it until you've tried it, would be my advice but changing your mind and stepping off the cliff can be difficult if you're only looking down.

Robert Hodgson
Lefty's Fresh Food Restaurants

I own a modest restaurant in a small tourist town in the foothills of Northern CA. This is my first go at running my own business but I was in customer support for about 20 years before opting for a better quality of life over a large paycheck. This is our fifth year in business and have been doing well although we have been hit hard by the downturn.

I may not have much experience in the restaurant business but I was shocked that anyone would expect a customer to pay for a meal that they didn't eat! If that happened to me, regardless of the circumstances, I would never go back and I would certainly tell anyone who who would listen about it. That is just NOT good business.

My wife and I are constantly aware of the bottom line and are always trying to get the best product for the best price. This is critical if you want to stay in business but that is only a part of the "big picture". One of the things that attracted me to this industry was the chance to interact with people in a pleasant environment rather then a negative one.

One of my most important duties is to ensure that my guests have a great experience when at my place. There are always issues that arise but I (or one of my staff) is always there to make things right. That may be anything from getting a guest a different drink or side dish to replacing an unacceptable meal or even comp-ing a meal. What this guy seems to have forgotten is that this business is all about the guests not about the bottom line. In my opinion, if you take care of the guest, they will take care of you. That's my two cents anyway,

Paul Kennedy

Thanks for sharing your thoughts. I feel badly for the person who responded to your newsletter with such criticism. Of course, it's his behavior that's disappointing, not him as a person. Perhaps he's going through some serious struggles with his business (or personal life) and the EHC story caused him to vent. If we had an opportunity (and forum) to truly listen to him I'm sure we'd find out why his frustration came about. I hope things improve for him.

With regard to your insights in the EHC and your other material -- I think it's rich and refreshing! Although I'm glad to be able to learn from speakers at trade shows, presenters at industry workshops, a few things from books, conversations with other operators, magazine articles, and even the waiter when I'm out for dinner -- I have not found anyone else's insight to be as consistently wise and useful as what I read in your material.

The OTC and the restaurant you owned provided you with tons of experience, and even though the times have changed the fundamentals are still the same -- it's all about people. The more we listen, understand, connect and make an effort to be helpful in some way, the better place the world will be.

I would have comped the dinner for the group that had to leave for the hospital. Doesn't hospitality originate from compassion and the desire to serve and care for others? For me, the opportunity to provide an act of love in buying dinner for someone in distress is much greater than the opportunity to save $15 in food cost that week.

Dan McCormick
Chicago, IL

PS: A few weeks ago I had just been thinking about the use of a few canned mixers instead of the soda gun so I appreciate that you recycled your thoughts on the subject!

My wife and I saw you at a seminar about 2 or 3 years ago and I have done some of the things you have suggested, the one thing that I liked the most was comping meals. After the seminar we did it on and off for about a year and a half and then we just kind of forgot. Well the past 5 or 6 weeks business started to slow more than normal. I started to really feel like oh no things are bad, I started complaining to my wife and the employees, and that is not something I do.

So about a month ago on slow nights I started buying meals (man did that hurt on a slow night). I bought about 20 meals or so since then and the people I bought meals for were good regulars and they were happy that I did it. It helped me change my attitude. It felt good to let a regular know that you appreciated them. Since then I have also gone around to the hotels to bribe the front desk clerks. Being proactive feels better than being a cry baby and I think it is working

Karl Spangler
Central Family Restaurant
York PA

I LOVED your response to the Mazzio food issue! I thought it was right on target, and I just want to thank you for standing up for compassion, and its positive affect on businesses! (I hope more businesses will listen!)

I like what you wrote: "Do not allow yourself to entertain negative thoughts, no matter what appears to be happening ‘out there.’ It is a waste of time (won't change anything)" That goes for business, job search, and for life in general!

Michelle Toste

I like the feedback from the subscriber and your reply. Both have some good points. As much as business changes, you can always get questioned about being out of touch if you are not careful.

On another note we just had one of our largest customers and one of your subscribers go to bottled tonic water as opposed to the bad gun stuff you refer too. He said after all these years he always knew his tonic water stunk but just never had done anything about it. Now he is going to the Cadbury-Schweppes brand, which by the way is the best out there. Sure, it is a littler tougher on the bartender and might cost a bit more, but certainly not enough to keep it from being a smart change. Now his vodka tonic will be the best in town.

In my opinion the best operators question everything they do and are always trying to improve quality and service. That means not being afraid to change anything. They don’t need years to think about it, but act quick once they come to the conclusion there is a better way. This is a bad time to be set in your ways and why some struggle and some thrive. I wish more operators had this philosophy. Too much emphasis on the cost or the hassle of making a change and not on what the benefits are.

Kirk Purnell
General Manager
Ben E. Keith Oklahoma Division

Your e-mail dialogue with your subscriber was frightening. Is this person a restaurant owner? How are his sales and profit?

I am a former restaurant and retail/prepared food market owner. I currently assist restaurant owners (hand in hand) with accounting/bookkeeping setup. I see numerous restaurants, owners, staffs and their operations. Many are crying the blues. Cash flow problems, diminished customer count ... you know what I'm saying.

If these people faithfully read your e-mails and read and listened to Joel Cohen, they could turn their lives and businesses around. You are not out of touch -- your insights are 100% on the mark. If a restaurant owner chases profit and runs from losses, he cannot win. You are absolutely, 1000% (not 100%) correct in saying that this business is about relationships, hospitality and enjoying people. It's about the long term. It's about loyalty - you to customers and customers to you.

These people need to drink your cool-aid. These people need to do the work (heard that before?). You are inspiring, insightful, full of ideas and 10,000% on the mark. Keep it up.

I see what's out there and it's not pretty. I can connect the dots between the owners' mentality and their food, hospitality, kitchen practices, concept, customer count and profit. It's all related.

Rob Cooperman
Radnor, PA

Rant on Bill! You are so right and he who shall remain nameless, obscure, and soon to be out of business, is so wrong. We try to impress our guests each and every day by treating them how we would want to be treated. We believe that people that go into this business to make money will surely fail. People that go into this business to provide the best product and service will make money. We have to keep reminding ourselves where our focus is.

Whenever we make a decision regarding a customer based on making money, we set ourselves on the road to failure. We quietly give food to local charities for people in need. It’s just a feel good thing that we do. It makes our staff feel proud. It’s probably one of the reasons that we have a very low turnover of staff. It’s just an example of "do the right things and you will get the right results." If we just focus on the results, we might not do the right things.

For those of us that are trying to do the right things, your weekly blurbs help to reinforce or possibly tweak us into being better.

Bob Marr
The Buttermilk Café

Thank you very much for all your wisdom and knowledge. Maybe the restaurateur in this EHC shouldn’t be in the hospitality business because it doesn’t sound like he really is. I just finished reading Danny Meyer’s book, Setting The Table and found it to be something every restaurateur should read if they are truly interested in being successfully hospitable. However, I’m not sure that the fellow you talked to in this EHC would gain anything from it unless he were to truly have a change of paradigm in his way of thinking. Again, thanks and keep up the good work.

Martin "Marty" Troutman
Michigan Restaurant Association

Another house call that is on target! He Said, Me Said. I will save your response and reread it many times as it is the perspective I need to remember. When you work day and night it is too easy to miss the big picture, just like "He" did. Keep rocking, Bill.

Jeffrey Nolan

I think the discussion about the emergency situation has been a good one the last couple of weeks. One thing I like to do at our manager meetings is give them hypothetical situations that we can discuss. It teaches us all to hear real (and multiple) solutions. The "emergency issue" will offer a new conversation starter at our next meeting.

It was interesting to hear your reasons behind your perspective on this issue and I agree that compassion is a much better course of action in this situation.

Melissa P.

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