ELECTRONIC HOUSE CALL - July 12, 2002

I am in Orlando for the next few days attending the National Speakers Association convention and re-visiting some of my favorite restaurants in Mouseville. Next week at this time, I will be on my way to China for ten days as the first step in a project to train a group of restaurant managers from that country. How's THAT for something different?

READ IT AND WEEP
As major employers of our country's youth, I think it is important for hospitality operators to have a sense of what we have to work with.

You may have seen this list floating around the Internet. At first glance, it is humorous -- at least to those of our generation. So by all means have a chuckle. Then realize that there is a serious side to it as well. I am concerned that a disturbing number of young people really believe that life is like this . . . and they are the workforce to whom we have entrusted our businesses! At the least, we have to understand their values and expectations if we are to have a prayer of molding them into productive workers.

Although usually attributed to a speech by Bill Gates, this list is actually the work of Charles J. Sykes, author of the book Dumbing Down Our KidsWhy American Children Feel Good About Themselves But Can't Read, Write, Or Add. (As a note, you can read about 40 pages of this book on amazon.com. I recommend that you do it -- but be forewarned that it will scare you. I read a few pages and promptly ordered a copy.)

The list has appeared in newspapers, although not necessarily in the book. In any event, here's some advice about a few things that kids did not and will not learn in school. It just shows how our well-intentioned -- but misguided -- feel-good, politically-correct teachings have created a generation of kids with no concept of reality and how this has set them up for failure in the real world. Many versions of this list omit the last three rules.

Rule 1: Life is not fair - get used to it

Rule 2: The world won't care about your self-esteem. The world will expect you to accomplish something BEFORE you feel good about yourself.

Rule 3: You will NOT make $40,000 a year right out of high school. You won't be a vice-president with a car phone until you earn both.

Rule 4: If you think your teacher is tough, wait till you get a boss.

Rule 5: Flipping burgers is not beneath your dignity. Your grandparents had a different word for burger flipping -- they called it opportunity.

Rule 6: If you mess up, it's not your parents' fault, so don't whine about your mistakes, learn from them.

Rule 7: Before you were born, your parents weren't as boring as they are now. They got that way from paying your bills, cleaning your clothes and listening to you talk about how cool you are. So before you save the rain forest from the parasites of your parents' generation, try delousing the closet in your own room.

Rule 8: Your school may have done away with winners and losers, but life has not. In some schools, they have abolished failing grades and they'll give you as many times as you want to get the right answer. This doesn't bear the slightest resemblance to ANYTHING in real life.

Rule 9: Life is not divided into semesters. You don't get summers off and very few employers are interested in helping you find yourself. Do that on your own time.

Rule 10: Television is NOT real life. In real life people actually have to leave the coffee shop and go to jobs.

Rule 11: Be nice to nerds. Chances are you'll be working for one.

Rule No. 12: Smoking does not make you look cool. It makes you look moronic. Next time you're out cruising, watch an 11-year-old with a butt in his mouth. That's what you look like to anyone over 20. Ditto for "expressing yourself" with purple hair and/or pierced body parts.

Rule No. 13: You are not immortal. (See Rule No. 12.) If you are under the impression that living fast, dying young and leaving a beautiful corpse is romantic, you obviously haven't seen one of your peers at room temperature lately.

Rule No. 14: Enjoy this while you can. Sure parents are a pain, school's a bother, and life is depressing. But someday you'll realize how wonderful it was to be a kid. Maybe you should start now. You're welcome.

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